Who in the heck started throwback Thursday? Whoever you are I just want to say...
You Suck!!
Every time Thursday rolls around I have mixed emotions. My
#tbt pics bring back happy memories PLUS sad memories. I look at myself when I
was 274 pounds and think, “How did I let myself get like that? “ I feel embarrassed and ashamed, but proud of how far I've come, all at the same time. Then I see pictures from my wedding, our first couple years of marriage and think, “Wow, I looked great!” I remember
the feeling of happiness from purely being able to be myself for the first time
ever. Then, every glorious Thursday, I long for that feeling again. Sigh.
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| 2009ish-Hospice Benefit Ball |
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| May 29th 2010 with my sweet maid of honor Kristen before the wedding |
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| My Taddies has loved me big, small and everything in between. In her little eyes I am the perfect big sissy! |
Right now I am working my bootie off but I am stuck right in the
middle. I’m not the 164 pounds I was at one time, but I’m for sure not the 274
pounder I was either. I feel "okay" with myself but I wouldn’t call it comfortable. I’m
no longer ashamed of myself but I’m not proud of myself either.
I want to feel PROUD!!
I want
to look back and smile because I am in the best shape I’ve ever been in not then but...NOW!!
Am I the only human who over thinks throwback
Thursday?!?! Guess I just need to keep on a truckin and maybe I can talk everybody into
changing it to #todaybabytoday!
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