My Wish for 2014

Normally when I blog I just spit out whatever in the heck is on my mind. I don't try and write like it's an essay, or make you think I know really big words. I'm just me. Everyday, plain talking, country Kelly. I think it's been so long though, that I've forgotten how to do that. I sat on the couch for 30 minutes tonight, typing in the notes app on my phone, and literally had three sentences. I guess I was overthinking it and reverted back to the old me. 

I've never told you guys this before, but I have ALWAYS been a terrible writer...terrible!!! Spelling isn't exactly one of strong points either. When I was a senior in high school, I would bribe my freshman little brother to help me write my essays and research papers. In return, I would clean his room, do his chores or complete his artsy school work. Later on, when I went to college, I would call my Mama in tears because I thought I was going to fail English 101. I hated to write!! On top of that, I couldn't type!! I literally used one finger and would peck at the keys. I even remember being at the GSU library and asking a boy next to me how to make the page go away (minimize). It took me years to be able to sit down and just whip out a paper...years!!! BUT, I was determined. 

In July of 2013 I told my family I was going to start a blog. My Mama's eyes got big and she didn't say anything, only looked at me and blinked. I knew what she was thinking, and I'm sure that night she probably had reoccurring night mares where I wouldn't stop calling her crying and asking for help with my blog posts. Nevertheless, for some reason I still wanted to do this. For me. I didn't care if 5 people or 500 people read it. I had something to prove to myself. I guess, in a way, I still have something to prove. 

Growing up I always made A's, and I graduated with honors from high school, but I always had in the back of my mind that I was stupid. When I went to college I graduated magna cum laude, but that still didn't change my mind. I know that sounds nuts, but I truly believed I was dumb. It has taken me a very long time to understand where in the world that came from. It surely wasn't my parents and I mean, my Lord, I thought most type A people never had to worry about stuff like that. 

After lots of prayer, I have finally been able to figure out my problem...
For so many years I wasn't happy with ME. Consequently, I worried myself silly over what other people thought. 

Ya'll I am 27, well almost 28, and I am finally getting to a point where I LOVE ME. 
I think I'm SMART. 
I think I'm FUNNY. 
I think I'm PRETTY. 
And I think that if someone really wanted to get to know me, they would LOVE me. 

That sounds vain, but please don't take it that way. I'm just saying that I'm finally to a place where I like me, and I'm actually okay with being me. Why has it taken me so long to put the pieces together? 

If 2013 did anything for me it gave me my life back. The girl I am in 2014 is a much different girl than that girl from last year. Who do I owe this new me to? GOD. Remember back when I first started blogging? I told you guys that I just didn't care anymore. I was curled in a ball on the bathroom floor crying because I had hit absolute rock bottom. I promised God that if he would help me I would praise him. He held up his end, now it's my turn. 

You know that verse in the Bible that says, "God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. Ephesians 3:20?!?" It's true! It's really true. I am living proof of that. God is so much bigger than anything we can fathom, no matter how big or small the situation. 

Remember...exceedingly abundantly above!! 

If I could have only one resolution come true by the end of the year it wouldn't be to weigh my goal of 140 pounds, or be in the best shape of my life...

It would be to trust God with all my heart at all times. 

That's the best resolution for true happiness!!